Warning a parts of this post are very honest, forgive me if I sound like a complainer, just being honest with how things have been lately.
I am 13 weeks pregnant with baby #3 and so happy that baby is doing well so far! After trying for a year to get pregnant and another miscarriage in DEC I was once again surprised to find out I was pregnant. It always seems to happen when I least expect it (I had been having no periods or just really weird spotting that never really flowed TMI?, I really didn't think I was ovulating, Kinda like we thought that when I showed up pregnant with Oliver.) It seems like I get pregnant (and keep the baby) when I am not trying or thinking about it, maybe I stress to much about it and my body has a hard time being healthy for a baby to survive. The miscarriage in DEC was hard for various reasons (one being it happened on Christmas eve in CA) but more than that it was frustrating to me. I just felt like I would rather not get pregnant than get pregnant and lose the baby. I know others would feel the fact that getting pregnant at all was a good sign and a blessing but its easier to not be pregnant rather than start planning for a future that never happens. anyway I have learned to be more faithful and put my trust more fully in the Lords hands, through it all.
Back to the pregnancy. I found out I was pregnant in June and was so happy about it! The first couple of weeks I felt fine which I was praying for morning sickness just so I could know the baby was growing, and boy did I get what I asked for! I have been sick, sick, sick since about 7 weeks. I haven't really been tired but I have felt so sick, I don't usually throw up with my pregnancies (usually just once or twice) but it doesn't make it easier. Just like Oliver's pregnancy my mornings are pretty good, its after I eat lunch I am sick the rest of the day and night till the next morning. I feel nauseous, headaches, shortness of breath, major food aversions, and an ultra sensitive sense of smell, I have had heart burn and pretty much every yucky pregnancy symptom you can think of! I have felt thankful because I know my baby is thriving but I have also hated my life for the past few months! It really has depressed me to an extent, I don't feel like myself at all, I don't feel well enough to do the things I want to, I am grouchy with my family and have little desire to put myself out there to make new friends. This has by far been the toughest pregnancy yet, maybe they just get worse with each one? But despite all of the hardships I have felt so blessed and happy that we are working on welcoming another baby into our family! I am grateful my body is working properly to support the baby and I am already so in love with our child! I love being pregnant for the most part, I love having the closeness with the child and feeling like I bond with them right away. I love feeling them move and being able to think about them all day long. I love being a mother so much and I am so in love with my kids I have that I am so so excited about this baby joining our family in February!
Here is one of the pictures from our baby's first photo shoot! I just love those little feet sticking up in the air and that cute profile!
I don't have really strong feelings of what the baby could be, with both the other kids I just "knew" what they were and I was right, this one on one hand I think maybe boy because the pregnancy is more similar to Oliver's than Cecily's but on the other hand I just keep going back to it being a girl. Probably partially because CC really wants a sister and partially because most of the wives tales gender tests have said girl. But really I guess I do kinda feel like maybe its a girl. I think when I imagine the baby I imagine a girl most of the time. Anyway we will see! I am totally fine with being wrong and being surprised by the gender either way! I have some names for each gender that I love ( I almost wish I was having one of each so I could use both names;) but I wont share those names till we are really ready. I have another appt this week and I am so excited to hear our baby's heart beat again! I will keep updated on this pregnancy and maybe even take some belly shots!